{"id":379,"date":"2010-09-11T23:02:27","date_gmt":"2010-09-12T04:02:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/"},"modified":"2020-11-12T20:38:34","modified_gmt":"2020-11-13T01:38:34","slug":"names","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/names\/","title":{"rendered":"Names (and what to call people)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

People sometimes wonder where the names come from. It’s quite common for people in the Pagan community to pick a different name from the one their parents gave them for a variety of reasons. Some of these include privacy, values around the power of names and words, names as a magical tool, and more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Connecting:<\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Why do people use different names?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Privacy:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Many people still prefer not to be public about being Pagan everyone. Maybe that’s with those they work with, some family members, neighbours, or other people in their lives for a wide variety of reasons. Using a different name (especially online<\/strong><\/a>) allows them to choose who they share that with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Some people just think religion is private. Some people have very real concerns about keeping their job, custody of their child, serious issues with harassment, problems with family or other areas.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Respecting people’s privacy in this way is a big deal in most Pagan communities and groups – outing someone without permission is considered a really serious issue, because the impact in someone’s life can be so big (and you may not know that it would be a significant problem for them.) This is also why most Pagan events have clear photography guidelines. More about this below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Magical or ritual reasons:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Names are powerful. <\/strong>In my tradition, we pick a name at Dedication (and again at initiation, and further degrees) that embodies who we want to become. Every time we use that name, we step a little closer to that version of ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These names don’t have to fill every single aspect of our desired selves, and they can sometimes be rather different than we might have thought. The name I took at my 3rd degree is something I circled around for ages, because it is more commonly associated with healing (not a thing I focus on), but I chose it for some other specific reasons, and each time I hear it or type it, I remember those things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a magical tool<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Names can also help us step into a ritual mindset<\/strong>. Using a different name for our ritual and magical work can help us set aside our day to day life (and perhaps a bit of our day to day skepticism) and enter more fully into our magical working. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It can also be a sign of devotion or attention to a particular deity or religious choice “- much like people in other religious communities take religious names. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I use Jenett these days with pretty much everyone except people through work. <\/strong>When someone calls me Jenett, I know it’s okay to talk about my religious life, or about interests of mine I might not want to share with co-workers.

When someone uses Althaea (the name I took at my 3rd degree\u00a0which I normally use only in ritual),\u00a0I know they need me in a priestess-mindset.

And when someone uses the name I took at my 1st degree (which I keep private except for people I do small-group work with), it immediately kicks me into a very intimate mindset, because the only people who know that name are people I trust deeply.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do you call people?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, the practical etiquette is pretty simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use the name you’re given<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Use the name someone introduces themselves with<\/strong> unless you’re specifically told otherwise. Please tell them what to use for you if it hasn’t already been made clear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In writing, it’s much appreciated if you can spell it right.<\/strong> (It’s amazing to me how many people write Jennett or Jennet or Jenette or other variations even when they have it in front of them.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Multiple names can get complicated<\/strong>, but most of the time, it’s common to know only someone’s Pagan name or their legal name, and the number of people where you know or use both is fairly rare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some Pagan paths use specific titles<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The most commonly seen in Wiccan-based groups are the use of Lady for a 3rd degree priestess or high priestess of a group, and Lord for a 3rd degree priest or the high priest of a group. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, these days, many people only use these titles in ritual (as a sign of respect for the deities involved) or in formal correspondence and conversation (when they’re speaking on behalf of their group or tradition in a formal sort of way for some reason.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In general, matching someone’s level of formality is a safe bet.<\/strong> The same way that if you write an email to someone and say “Hello, Ms. Stone.” and she writes back and signs her name Jacqueline, you would probably start your next email “Hello, Jacqueline”, you can do the same thing with titles in the Pagan community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’re not sure you should use a title when addressing someone, asking is always polite. (“Do you prefer to be called X or Y?”) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I always use Jenett <\/strong>unless I’m either in ritual, or speaking very formally for my group (when I’d use Lady Althaea or Althaea).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your choices may imply things<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Using the title Lord or Lady if you’re not a 3rd degree in a tradition that uses it may get you looked at rather oddly – or people may make assumptions about your level of skill or knowledge that aren’t accurate. These things aren’t the end of the world, but they can be awkward or uncomfortable at times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Using a deity name as part of your name will also often imply to people that you are significantly focused on that deity. If that’s not actually the case, there may be a fair bit of confusion. The same thing can be true with strongly cultural names (like a name with a meaning in a specific language; if you pick a name with a specific meaning in ancient Egypt, people will assume that’s maybe an interest of yours.)<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Confidentiality<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It is considered very rude to ‘out’ someone as being Pagan without their permission. This means you should pay attention to what information you pass on, even accidentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n