{"id":13,"date":"2010-08-13T11:34:01","date_gmt":"2010-08-13T16:34:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/?page_id=13"},"modified":"2020-11-11T20:52:04","modified_gmt":"2020-11-12T01:52:04","slug":"simple","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/simple\/","title":{"rendered":"CARE : The simple but important questions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A summary of questions to ask yourself about group work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"900\" height=\"120\" src=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header.png\" alt=\"Connecting: heart made of hearts on a deep teal background\" class=\"wp-image-3959\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header.png 900w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header-300x40.png 300w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header-768x102.png 768w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header-150x20.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>For background on these questions and further resources, please see the<a href=\"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/\"> <\/a><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/\">index and explanation<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The important questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Does this person, this group, this community, treat you well?<\/li><li>Do they care for others in the group, and treat them well?<\/li><li>Do they treat themselves well?<\/li><li>Does this group&#8217;s religious and magical work call to you?<\/li><li>Does the group challenge you to grow and learn?<\/li><li>Do they respect your choices and boundaries, and let you know how those fit with their group so you can make informed choices?<\/li><li>Do you look forward to your time with them?<\/li><li>Do you wish to become more like them in the ways the group shares?<\/li><li>Would you feel comfortable inviting them to your home? Why or why not?<\/li><li>Do they seem centered, balanced, focused on a healthy religious life?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If these things aren&#8217;t true, you want to look very closely at this group and the individuals in it to figure out why &#8211; and what you can do about it. That&#8217;s what this document is for &#8211; to help you decide what to look for, and where you should be particularly careful and watchful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Serious problems: <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>These include a group or teacher that&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Tries to control who you talk to, what you read, or how you spend your time outside the group.<\/li><li>Dismisses, degrades, scapegoats those who don&#8217;t agree with them, or alternately plays favorites and rewards some members unduly.<\/li><li>Expects you to make a decision about joining the group on minimal information, or pressures you to make a rapid decision.<\/li><li>Wastes group time by showing up late, being unprepared, taking care of personal (non-emergency) tasks during group events, etc.<\/li><li>Moves from crisis to crisis, or is having trouble keeping up with basic responsibilities (home, work, family).<\/li><li>Has drastic mood swings or changes of behavior.<\/li><li>Makes significant decisions suddenly (a matter of hours) rather than after reasoned reflection (when the matter is not urgent.)<\/li><li>Treats your or other people&#8217;s commitments or boundaries lightly (whether that&#8217;s your home, your relationships, your time, or anything else.)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>All of these things &#8211; and the other more specific issues in the<strong> <a href=\"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/deeper\/\">deeper questions<\/a><\/strong><a href=\"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/deeper\/\"> <\/a>version &#8211; indicate some serious concerns with this group or teacher. Be cautious, thoughtful, and aware!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple-683x1024.png\" alt=\"Title card: Conscious Awareness of Religious Enviroments (CARE) - simple questions\n\" class=\"wp-image-4663\" width=\"342\" height=\"512\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple-100x150.png 100w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple.png 735w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 342px) 100vw, 342px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Last edited December 26, 2016. Reformatted November 2020. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A summary of questions to ask yourself about group work. <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/simple\/\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3968,"parent":12,"menu_order":1,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-13","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P11EQH-d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":0},"title":"Conscious Awareness of Religious Environments (CARE)","author":"jenett","date":"August 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Once upon the time, there was a web document called the CASHI (the Coven Abuse Self-Help Index) that was designed to help people evaluate Pagan and magical groups for problematic behaviors. While my own experiences with groups have generally been very good, I feel the loss of something like the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"ethics\"","block_context":{"text":"ethics","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/ethics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/deeper\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":1},"title":"CARE : Deeper questions","author":"jenett","date":"August 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"As described on the intro, this is a longer and more detailed look at a range of different issues in Pagan and magical groups. Again: Engage your brain - only you can decide what you see and feel.Be realistic - you're looking for healthy, supportive settings, not perfection.Learn over time\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"ethics\"","block_context":{"text":"ethics","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/ethics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-deeper.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-deeper.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-deeper.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-deeper.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":412,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/about\/copyright-note\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":2},"title":"site notes (disclaimers and copyright)","author":"jenett","date":"September 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"This page collects a few disclaimers, and includes some useful copyright information. Copyright I - Jenett - am a librarian. I care deeply about sharing information. But I also care deeply about making sure complete information is shared (not parts), and about making sure that people can trace the creator,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"Resources: books on a black background","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/resources-header.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/resources-header.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/resources-header.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/resources-header.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":776,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/questions\/the-question-of-bodies\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":3},"title":"The question of bodies","author":"jenett","date":"November 4, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Our society is deeply confused about bodies and what they should look like. While many of our ideas of 'what is attractive' are rooted in health, many of those ideals have gotten seriously skewed - not just in the recent past, but over centuries, even millenia. What's changed, though, is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"embodied life\"","block_context":{"text":"embodied life","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/embodied-life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/questions-bodies.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/questions-bodies.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/questions-bodies.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/questions-bodies.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1857,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/learning\/libraries-and-librarians\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":4},"title":"Libraries and Librarians","author":"jenett","date":"June 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"One of the things that comes up fairly often in my life is my mentioning something about my profession, and someone going \"Oh! I didn't know it worked like that.\" This essay is my go at answering some common (and not as common) questions about libraries, librarians, and related subjects.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"resources\"","block_context":{"text":"resources","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/resources\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/learning-libraries-etc.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/learning-libraries-etc.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/learning-libraries-etc.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/learning-libraries-etc.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":119,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/archive\/smart-questions\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":5},"title":"Asking Pagan questions the smart way","author":"jenett","date":"August 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I spend a fair bit of time in new-folk friendly Pagan online spaces. People ask a lot of questions - but many of their questions are hard to answer because it's not really clear what they're asking. Some questions are way too broad to answer in a single post (\"Tell\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"resources\"","block_context":{"text":"resources","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/resources\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Building : tree with many leaves on deep green background","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/building.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4664,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13\/revisions\/4664"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3968"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}