{"id":13,"date":"2010-08-13T11:34:01","date_gmt":"2010-08-13T16:34:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/?page_id=13"},"modified":"2020-11-11T20:52:04","modified_gmt":"2020-11-12T01:52:04","slug":"simple","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/simple\/","title":{"rendered":"CARE : The simple but important questions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A summary of questions to ask yourself about group work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"900\" height=\"120\" src=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header.png\" alt=\"Connecting: heart made of hearts on a deep teal background\" class=\"wp-image-3959\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header.png 900w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header-300x40.png 300w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header-768x102.png 768w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/connecting-header-150x20.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>For background on these questions and further resources, please see the<a href=\"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/\"> <\/a><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/\">index and explanation<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The important questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Does this person, this group, this community, treat you well?<\/li><li>Do they care for others in the group, and treat them well?<\/li><li>Do they treat themselves well?<\/li><li>Does this group&#8217;s religious and magical work call to you?<\/li><li>Does the group challenge you to grow and learn?<\/li><li>Do they respect your choices and boundaries, and let you know how those fit with their group so you can make informed choices?<\/li><li>Do you look forward to your time with them?<\/li><li>Do you wish to become more like them in the ways the group shares?<\/li><li>Would you feel comfortable inviting them to your home? Why or why not?<\/li><li>Do they seem centered, balanced, focused on a healthy religious life?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If these things aren&#8217;t true, you want to look very closely at this group and the individuals in it to figure out why &#8211; and what you can do about it. That&#8217;s what this document is for &#8211; to help you decide what to look for, and where you should be particularly careful and watchful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Serious problems: <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>These include a group or teacher that&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Tries to control who you talk to, what you read, or how you spend your time outside the group.<\/li><li>Dismisses, degrades, scapegoats those who don&#8217;t agree with them, or alternately plays favorites and rewards some members unduly.<\/li><li>Expects you to make a decision about joining the group on minimal information, or pressures you to make a rapid decision.<\/li><li>Wastes group time by showing up late, being unprepared, taking care of personal (non-emergency) tasks during group events, etc.<\/li><li>Moves from crisis to crisis, or is having trouble keeping up with basic responsibilities (home, work, family).<\/li><li>Has drastic mood swings or changes of behavior.<\/li><li>Makes significant decisions suddenly (a matter of hours) rather than after reasoned reflection (when the matter is not urgent.)<\/li><li>Treats your or other people&#8217;s commitments or boundaries lightly (whether that&#8217;s your home, your relationships, your time, or anything else.)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>All of these things &#8211; and the other more specific issues in the<strong> <a href=\"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/deeper\/\">deeper questions<\/a><\/strong><a href=\"http:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/deeper\/\"> <\/a>version &#8211; indicate some serious concerns with this group or teacher. Be cautious, thoughtful, and aware!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple-683x1024.png\" alt=\"Title card: Conscious Awareness of Religious Enviroments (CARE) - simple questions\n\" class=\"wp-image-4663\" width=\"342\" height=\"512\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple-100x150.png 100w, https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-simple.png 735w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 342px) 100vw, 342px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Last edited December 26, 2016. Reformatted November 2020. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A summary of questions to ask yourself about group work. <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/simple\/\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3968,"parent":12,"menu_order":1,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-13","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P11EQH-d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":0},"title":"Conscious Awareness of Religious Environments (CARE)","author":"jenett","date":"August 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Once upon the time, there was a web document called the CASHI (the Coven Abuse Self-Help Index) that was designed to help people evaluate Pagan and magical groups for problematic behaviors. While my own experiences with groups have generally been very good, I feel the loss of something like the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"ethics\"","block_context":{"text":"ethics","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/ethics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/care\/deeper\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":1},"title":"CARE : Deeper questions","author":"jenett","date":"August 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"As described on the intro, this is a longer and more detailed look at a range of different issues in Pagan and magical groups. Again: Engage your brain - only you can decide what you see and feel.Be realistic - you're looking for healthy, supportive settings, not perfection.Learn over time\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"ethics\"","block_context":{"text":"ethics","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/ethics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-deeper.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-deeper.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-deeper.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-care-deeper.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":259,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/archive\/learning-about-a-group\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":2},"title":"Learning about a group","author":"jenett","date":"August 25, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"There are a lot of different ways you might learn about a group you're interested.\u00a0However, they share different kinds of information, so it can be good to have a reminder of what to look for (and expect) from a given source. Here are some tips for making the most of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"groups (joining)\"","block_context":{"text":"groups (joining)","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/groups-joining\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/connecting.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":137,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/archive\/finding-pagan-groups\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":3},"title":"Finding Pagan groups","author":"jenett","date":"August 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"One question I hear a lot is \"How can I find groups near me?\" It can be a frustrating search, and some of the best resources aren't obvious to newcomers. While there are different ways to go about this, here's my suggested method. Be realistic (before you start) Expect the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"groups (joining)\"","block_context":{"text":"groups (joining)","link":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/tag\/groups-joining\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Connecting : heart made of smaller hearts on teal circle background","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/connecting.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3296,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/evaluating-the-community\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":4},"title":"Evaluating the community","author":"jenett","date":"February 3, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"You may not have lots of experience finding a religious group (lots of people don't). But most people have lots of experience finding people they click with in other settings - making friends at school, finding a new interest and meeting people in that interest, all of that. Don't forget\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-evaluating-events.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-evaluating-events.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-evaluating-events.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/connecting-evaluating-events.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3842,"url":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/connecting\/evaluating-the-community-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":13,"position":5},"title":"Evaluating the community","author":"jenett","date":"March 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"You may not have lots of experience finding a religious group (lots of people don't), but most people have lots of experience finding people they click with in other settings - making friends at school, finding a new interest and meeting people in that interest, all of that. Don't forget\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"Connecting : heart made of smaller hearts on teal circle background","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/connecting.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4664,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13\/revisions\/4664"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3968"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gleewood.org\/seeking\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}