Where might you do ritual?

One of the topics that comes up a lot is the question of whether it’s better to do ritual inside or outside, and why. This article talks about ways I look at where to do ritual, and offers some practical advice to make sure you look at all the different safety and logistical considerations.

What are you planning to do?

There are two ways to start looking at location – one is by looking at the weather, and deciding what you can do given that weather. The other is to start by looking at what you’d like to do, and deciding where the best place to do it is. I generally prefer the second option, because it’s the one I have a bit more control over.

How flexible is your timing?
If you’re working by yourself, you may have a lot of flexibility to find a good patch of weather that’s likely to last as long as you need to do your ritual work. By using the traditional ‘the full moon can be celebrated for 3 days, the day of the full moon, and a day on either side’, for example, you might be easily able to find half an hour or an hour of good weather at a time you’re free.

However, if you’re working with other people (who need to be available at the same time and probably need to plan other things in their lives around that), or if you want to do something at a very particular day/time (a particular astrological timing, for example), planning to work inside may make more sense, unless you’ve got reliably good weather.

How long do you need to be outside?
Different ritual practices take different amounts of time. If what you want to do is quite quick (say, under 10-15 minutes), you have a lot of options for outside time. Even if the weather is not good, you can usually bundle up long enough to stay warm and dry and safe for that long.

However, if what you want to do is going to take longer, it can be more complicated to be outside. If you need to use your hands, being outside for very long in sub-freezing temperatures without gloves is not good for your health. Meditating (or anything else that involves sitting quietly) can make you get cold very quickly, too. On the other end of the weather, a physically active ritual outside in high temperatures and humidity can get you into trouble with heat stroke quite fast.

What’s your location?
Someone’s backyard is a different setting from their living room – and both are quite different than a city park or a larger state park or rural area. You’ll need to think about different aspects of privacy, safety, and weather considerations depending on which one you’re in.

How much physical stuff do you need?
Some people’s ritual practices involve a certain amount of physical stuff – candles, altar tools, images, and so on. These things can be lovely inside, but outside, the wind and weather can offer a lot of challenges. If you’re working outside, you need to make sure that altar cloths are weighted down, that candles won’t blow out, that lighter objects won’t blow over or away if the wind picks up. And of course, it takes time to set these things up and pack them away, so if a storm blows in quickly, you may have to scramble to get everything under cover (and some things may get ruined.)

If you’re using much less in the way of physical objects (or they’re all things that won’t be damaged much by being wet), you have a lot more in the way of options for working outside.

Are there any restrictions imposed by the location?
For example, public parks can be a great place for outdoor ritual (since they give you outdoor space, but some covered pavillion options if the weather turns bad, plus things like bathrooms). However, parks often have their own restrictions. Some require a permit to use the facilities and it can be complicated to schedule those permits. Others forbid alcohol, glass, or other items.

Likewise, if you’re using someone’s private property, they may have limits on what you can do, or where you can do it. Or there may be other restrictions in place (like a burn ban if the area is very dry.)

What’s the weather like?

One of the most basic questions when we look at doing ritual outside is the weather. If you live somewhere where the climate is quite moderate for much of the year, you’ll have more reasonable choices than somewhere that gets either very cold or very hot for a chunk of the year. (Or both, as some places do!)

How stable is the weather?
Some places, the weather is not very predictable. Can you figure out what the weather will be like enough in advance that you can plan accordingly? Is it possible that a rain shower or other bad weather might blow in quickly and without warning?

In some places, the weather is generally quite mild and predictable. In other places, it can vary quite a lot on the same day in different years. (For example, May 1st here has been 65 F and sunny some years, and on others, it’s been 35F and a rain/snow mix). Many places have some seasons which vary widely, and some seasons that are more stable.

Do you have shelter nearby?
You might make different decisions about your plans depending on where you’re going to be. For example, you might plan to try and do ritual outside more often if you’re doing it somewhere with shelter (or an indoor location) that’s easily accessible, like working in the back yard, but moving into someone’s basement or family room if the weather turns nasty. If you’re going to be miles out in the country or a park with no shelter nearby, you want to be a lot more certain of the weather for the day before you haul everything out there.

Some things you especially want to think about include:

Heat: If the temperature will be over about 90F, you want to think carefully about heat illnesses (heat exhaustion, heat stroke) and sun burn. If you’re going to be outside for more than a handful of minutes, you should plan to make sure you have plenty of water, and that people can sit/rest in the shade if they need to. Young children or people taking some medications can also be especially sensitive to heat.

Cold can also be quite dangerous very quickly. While extreme cold is obviously a problem, the most common time to have problems with hypothermia is if the temperature is in the 40s to low 60s (F) and drizzly/damp. An extended ritual outdoors in this weather can be quite risky for people who don’t dress for the weather or who are sensitive to cold.

And of course, if it’s very cold (below freezing, basically), you don’t want to expose your skin to the weather for any length of time. This means that anything that involves delicate hand motions (writing, lighting candles, pouring liquid, passing food or drink around, using tools, etc.) is probably better kept for better conditions or inside.

Wind can also complicate things. Besides the problems noted above with managing altar items and tools in a strong wind, wind also makes it harder to hear what’s going on, and it can make a cooler temperature feel much colder.

Rain is both pretty miserable to be out in, and can make cold much worse, especially if people are wearing cotton (which stops insulating when it’s wet) as opposed to wool (which will continue to insulate.) And of course, it makes it hard to do anything that involves paper (reading a meditation, divination decks, etc.)

Severe weather is also important to take into consideration. Does your area get severe thunderstorms blowing in quickly? Tornadoes? Forest fires (and the related smoke?) Blizzard conditions or flash floods? If that’s the case, you’ll want to know how to handle those conditions if they come up, and have a back-up plan if they’re predicted.

How much privacy do you need?

One of the other big factors in working outside is privacy. Sometimes, this isn’t a big deal. For example, wandering outside, sitting down, closing your eyes, and meditating doesn’t look that unusual if you’re in your backyard. However, setting up several altars outside, chanting, saying ritual phrases, and using a range of tools is a lot more obvious.

What are you planning to do? How obvious is it to an outside observer that you’re doing something religious or spiritual that might be new to them? A quiet meditation or libation can be done without attracting a lot of attention. A more formal group ritual with singing, different responses, or lots of obvious tools may not be a good fit for your back yard if your neighbors can see everything.

Who can see you? Neighbors you have a good relationship with, or someone who’s been looking for an excuse to make trouble for you? If you’re working with other people, do they feel comfortable if someone notices what you are doing together?

How much noise and distraction will there be? You might be fine with the fact your neighbors can see you – but what about if they have a party that night? Would you be comfortable doing what you plan with lots of different noises coming from the party?

How will you handle questions? Groups doing outdoor ritual often designate one or two people to answer questions (from curious passerby, park police, etc.) If you’re working in a backyard, you will want to be prepared to talk to your neighbors if they have any questions. Often, the unknown is a lot scarier to people than the known, so having a brief, simple explanation like “I’m having some friends over to honor the first day of spring” can smooth things over a little. Knowing your neighbors and being a good neighbor in other ways can definitely help a lot too.

Are there any safety concerns?

All locations have some safety considerations, but working outside offers some additional things you should think about in your planning. Working in your backyard is usually pretty safe (and if it isn’t, help is nearby), but if you choose to work in a more remote location (off the track in a park, or more rural land), you’ll need to have additional plans in place.

  • Do you have any health conditions that are more complicated outside? For example, someone with asthma or allergies may be more prone to problems outside than inside. Those with mobility challenges may find working outside a lot more tiring, even if the site is accessible to them (and they aren’t always.)
  • What would happen if you hurt yourself and needed help? (Anyone can twist an ankle!)
  • Are there any concerns from wildlife (bears, coyotes, mountain lions, snakes, etc.) Do you know how to handle these in the best way possible, and how to get help?
  • Can you identify poisonous plants, as well as places wasps, biting ants, scorpions, or other insects that can cause problems live?
  • Do you need to pay attention to mosquito or tick carried illnesses? How will you handle that? (These days, this is just as much an issue in suburbia…)
  • If you’ll have a pet with you, do you know how to keep them safe as well?
  • Are there burn bans or other seasonal considerations you should be aware of? (Air quality warnings, severe weather advisories, and other area warnings are important too.)
  • Do you have appropriate training/resources to handle bathroom needs, food safety, and other related things safely as needed? Do you have a complete first aid kit that will be on site?
  • If you’re going to be a fair distance away from help (like in a state park), is someone there trained in first aid, and can people give clear directions if you do need to call an ambulance or other help?

Working with others:

Working with others can be a wonderful thing – but when we do, we need to remember that they may have different needs or requirements than we do. We also (as noted above) need to remember that we’re going to have to schedule in advance, so we may not have the best weather.

Things to be especially thoughtful about:

  • Are there people who are sensitive to cold?
  • Or those who feel the heat or overheat easily?
  • Are people all in good health, or do they have some health considerations that change based on the environment?
  • Is anyone who’s going to be there at particular risk due to age? (Both older people and those under about the teen years can be especially vulnerable to heat, cold, air quality, or other climate or outdoor health issues.)
  • How much energy do they have? (Working outside generally takes more energy and exertion, because it takes more effort to set things up, move things, etc.)
  • Do people need a chance to sit down? If so, they’ll need to bring folding chairs outside, which takes extra energy and planning.
  • Does anyone have mobility issues that limit their access to the site? Some people can’t handle hills or rough ground easily.
  • Does anyone have allergies to pollen or anything else that may make them miserable to be outside? (Pollen, smoke, molds, etc. can all have a big impact.)
  • Do your plans allow for enough food, drink, water, and other necessities? What about bathroom facilities? Is everyone comfortable with these options?

Some options:

Even if you decide that you don’t want to do your entire ritual outside, you do have some other options.

A portion outside: One common option is to set up circle inside (and do the formal ritual bits or the ones that are sensitive to weather inside) but to have a portion of the ritual that takes place outside, such as a brief walking meditation, gathering of items for later in the ritual, etc.

Ritual inside, feast outside: This is perhaps the most common option: the formal ritual takes place inside, but if the weather’s at all reasonable, people have their post-ritual food and social time outside. This is a great way to experience the change in season and nature while not being at the mercy of the weather for your actual ritual plans.You can also include some seasonal activities (preparing a garden, a nature or herb walk, star-gazing, etc.) as part of the events.

Have a bad-weather plan: And of course, it’s possible to have an alternate plan for bad weather. For example, you may plan to do something outside, but have a fall-back if the weather looks bad. (This option works particularly well for times when you can usually expect good weather, but not always.)

There are some complications for this, especially for group work. To make it work, you need:

  • A ritual plan that will work as well inside as outside (this depends a lot on what you intend to do.)
  • A suitable indoor space. If you need to rent space, you’ll need to rent/pay for it whether you use it or not, which may make this less appealing as a choice than if you’d be using someone’s basement as a backup.
  • A clear way to communicate changes to other people involved (remembering that they may be out doing other things before coming to ritual. In these days of cell phones, this is a bit easier than it used to be). If the two locations are in different places, and people need to coordinate rides/public transit, this can get especially complicated.
  • If you’re using a space that’s not regularly used by the group as a backup, the people there need time and warning to get it ready for use (by tidying, cleaning, etc.) This means that a last-minute change of location is not a great idea.

What I do:

My basic principle is that I think it’s more important to do ritual than it is to be outside. I do most of my ritual work inside, due to a combination of weather and health concerns, and privacy considerations (I live in the middle of a city.)

I do include outdoor time in my religious and spiritual practice, but I do it mostly outside of structured ritual, so I can be more flexible and adaptable to my own needs and the current weather. (If the weather’s lousy, it’s easier to find a few minutes for a quick walk and bundle up than it is to do a whole ritual, too!)

However, some of my decisions are based on the fact that it can get lethally cold in Minnesota in the winter (and the bugs and heat in the middle of summer are not always the most fun ever, either.) If I lived in a different place, I might well make some different choices.

Groups and safety concerns

I’ve written a lot about things to consider when looking at a group in the CARE pages (Conscious Awareness of Religious Environments), but I want to highlight a few particular issues when you’re first meeting a prospective group or teacher here.

  • Meet in public the first time.
  • Be thoughtful about the information you share (and why)
  • Be able to leave easily if you feel uncomfortable.
  • Be aware of warning signs and safety concerns.
  • Trust your intuition.

Meet in public the first time.

There are lots of good choices for a first meeting. Sometimes this might be a coffee house. Sometimes it might be a food court at a mall, or a public restaurant.

Whatever it is, it shouldn’t be at your home, and it shouldn’t be at their home. You don’t know each other yet. I usually pick a coffee shop in my neighborhood – this means that people will have a general idea how long it will take to get later discussions/rituals they might be invited to, if things go well.

Meeting somewhere public acknowledges that you’re both getting to know each other. You’re not going to a stranger’s home (where it might be uncomfortable to leave if you don’t feel right about the conversation.) They’re showing some good sense by not revealing where they live to a random stranger.

(Most folks in the Pagan community are good people, but like all communities we have some people who get strange obsessions into their head. Sensible group leaders don’t want the occasional person like this to show up on their doorstep in the middle of the night.)

If a group leader won’t meet you in public (without a good reason – mobility issues are a good reason, but “I’d just rather not” isn’t), ask if you can bring a friend to your initial meeting, or if you can meet somewhere they can get to easily.

On sharing identifying information:

This is a personal choice. Often, groups will ask for some kind of initial information from you. Sometimes that’s a full name and contact info (email, phone, etc.) Sometimes it’s astrological information. (Many groups – including mine – use it to look at some general potential patterns, and see if there are any things we might want to explore in more depth when we talk.)

Don’t give information you don’t feel comfortable sharing. Healthy groups should be fine with you asking why they need that information (and why they ask for it at a particular stage in the process), or be fine with you giving only the information you’re comfortable with initially.

Have a way to leave easily if you need:

This goes both for an initial meeting, and for your first visit or two to the group itself. Having your own car makes this easy. If you normally take the bus, you should have a good idea of the bus schedule. It can also be a good idea to have cab fare handy (and know the easiest place to get picked up.)

If you’re really uncertain, ask the group if they’re doing a more public event any time soon, where you could bring a friend/spouse/whatever as a guest to see what you’re checking out.

Be aware of warning signs.

This goes both for signs of a disorganized and chaotic group, and for signs of a manipulative or abusive group. The CARE deeper question pages go into this in much more detail.

Be aware of other safety concerns.

As you get to know the group and group members, pay attention to what kinds of regular safety precautions they take. Ritual work – as I talk about elsewhere on this site – can have some risks and dangers, both in very practical ways (candles involve fire) and in psychological ways. You want to work with people who think about both parts of that. The Safety Tips and Notes essay has more things to think about.

Use common sense.

As I talk about elsewhere (on the Feeling Silly? essay), new things often feel strange or funny to us. However, most of us can tell the difference between something that’s new and different (and a bit weird to us), and something that’s scary. Trust those instincts. If something feels really off to you, trust your instinct to leave. Consider going to a public place instead of straight home (where you might jump at little sounds.)

[last edited January 14, 2011]

Classic Pagan books

Many people start out their reading about Paganism by reading classic Pagan titles and authors. This is, however, not something I personally suggest, and I want to explain why.

It’s based on three core principles:

  • Our community learns and grows and changes over time.
  • Practical aspects change too – health, safety, adaptations.
  • Books are basically static.

Note: it’s not that these books aren’t worth reading. Just that I think they aren’t the best choice anymore for the first books someone reads. I usually suggest people start reading them after reading some core basics (like the six topics suggested on my good starting books page) and otherwise getting familiar with current community practices and approaches through ongoing discussion (magazines, blogs, forums), local community events, or some combination.

Continue reading Classic Pagan books

What to wear

It can seem like a small thing, but a lot of people worry about what to wear for their first time at a public Pagan event or ritual.

I did, and I don’t normally worry too much about clothing. (Though I am the daughter of a theatre professor who grew up aware that clothing is a language of its own.) Fortunately, there are some easy ways to feel comfortable and look appropriate.

Continue reading What to wear

Pagans, privacy, and online conversation

There’s a lot of conversation out there about online privacy issues. They’re especially potent for people in any minority community – any group where there are sometimes misunderstandings about what we do, why we do it, and what it means for the other people around us.

Continue reading Pagans, privacy, and online conversation

CARE : Deeper questions

As described on the index, this is a longer and more detailed look at a range of different issues in Pagan and magical groups. You can click on the commentary link at the bottom of each section to go to even more specifics and examples. (Each commentary section links to the next one, for easy navigation.)

Again:

  • Engage your brain – only you can decide what you see and feel.
  • Be realistic – you’re looking for healthy, supportive settings, not perfection.
  • Learn over time – you want to see how groups respond to challenging situations as well as common ones.
  • Adapt these questions to the specific group – not all questions will apply to every setting.

Continue reading CARE : Deeper questions

CARE : The simple but important questions

For background on these questions and further resources, please see the index and explanation.

The important questions

  • Does this person, this group, this community, treat you well?
  • Do they care for others in the group, and treat them well?
  • Do they treat themselves well?
  • Does this group’s religious and magical work call to you?
  • Does the group challenge you to grow and learn?
  • Do they respect your choices and boundaries, and let you know how those fit with their group so you can make informed choices?
  • Do you look forward to your time with them?
  • Do you wish to become more like them in the ways the group shares?
  • Would you feel comfortable inviting them to your home? Why or why not?
  • Do they seem centered, balanced, focused on a healthy religious life?

If these things aren’t true, you want to look very closely at this group and the individuals in it to figure out why – and what you can do about it. That’s what this document is for – to help you decide what to look for, and where you should be particularly careful and watchful.

Serious problems include a group or teacher that…

  • Tries to control who you talk to, what you read, or how you spend your time outside the group.
  • Dismisses, degrades, scapegoats those who don’t agree with them, or alternately plays favorites and rewards some members unduly.
  • Expects you to make a decision about joining the group on minimal information, or pressures you to make a rapid decision.
  • Wastes group time by showing up late, being unprepared, taking care of personal (non-emergency) tasks during group events, etc.
  • Moves from crisis to crisis, or is having trouble keeping up with basic responsibilities (home, work, family).
  • Has drastic mood swings or changes of behavior.
  • Makes significant decisions suddenly (a matter of hours) rather than after reasoned reflection (when the matter is not urgent.)
  • Treats your or other people’s commitments or boundaries lightly (whether that’s your home, your relationships, your time, or anything else.)

All of these things – and the other more specific issues in the deeper questions version – indicate some serious concerns with this group or teacher. Be cautious, thoughtful, and aware!

Conscious Awareness of Religious Environments (CARE)

Once upon the time, there was a web document called the CASHI (the Coven Abuse Self-Help Index) that was designed to help people evaluate Pagan and magical groups for problematic behaviors. While my own experiences with groups have generally been very good, I feel the loss of something like the CASHI, and so wanted to create something that provided the same kind of in-depth discussion and commentary of relevant issues.

The word CARE is chosen to emphasize the importance of making conscious choices about where we spend our time and energy. There are three versions (described below) to allow you to pick the degree of detail you’d like to consider.

How this works

1) Engage your brain and your observation. Work from balance.

No one else can make these choices for you. You are also the one observing the group – you know best what you see, feel and experience when you’re around them. You may wish to take notes after each event while you’re getting to know a group and periodically afterwards.

Make sure that when you make these evaluations, you are coming from a place of healthy balance. Exhaustion, strong emotions, or even poor eating habits can make minor problems seem far more serious, so make sure that you make decisions when these things are not involved. Communication takes two – if you have concerns, have you talked to the group leaders about them? Storing up grudges rarely works well!

2) Be realistic. Use these questions to help you explore possible concerns.

Wonderful, healthy, productive groups won’t meet the ideal in all areas. This list also can’t take individual circumstances into account: there may be good reasons for a particular choice or decision. And, of course, not all issues are equally serious: threats and direct pressure to do something are much more of a concern than a group that has trouble getting started on time.

Make a list of any questions asked below that concern you. If you have significant questions in 3 or more broad topics, be cautious. If you have questions in 6 or more areas, you should be very careful – this suggests there may be serious concerns with the group.

3) Learn over time.

Many of the questions asked in this essay will come up naturally as you spend time with a group and hear individuals talk about their lives. You’ll learn many of these things through your first3-5 visits with a group but you may also need a more focused conversation.

It’s also easy to behave well when things are going well. It’s harder to behave well when things are harder. You may find that a group is great for a long time. Then, a crisis comes up, the membership shifts suddenly, or something else may happen, and you find that problems start coming up. This is a good time to re-evaluate – and to speak up if you see things that concern you.

4) Practical details:

Not all questions will apply to all kinds of groups. Ignore the stuff that’s not relevant. For example, I refer to “groups” and “leaders” – you’ll need to adjust this for groups that are consensus run. And, of course, groups change and develop over time. Come back and revisit this list periodically. It’s worth checking in every 6 to 12 months to make sure a group is both still healthy and functional – and that it’s doing the things you want and need.

I also expect this combined document will grow and change over time. I will start a changelog once they’re up (so people can track general changes), but I see this as a dynamic (not a static) resource. As people ask for clarification, suggest other examples, or add resources, I’ll add them to the pages. I also hope to add good resources as I get the time.

Finally, in the commentary examples, the examples are drawn from many stories I’ve heard over the years (in conversations with people who were somehow involved), and I’ve taken steps to help make the stories anonymous. (I pick names at random from common herb/stone names). They’re intended as examples of things to look at – not a way to single out individuals or specific groups.

Three versions:

Since people have different needs and want different levels of detail, we have three different options. You may also wish to use them at different stages – for example, the simple questions when you first meet a group or teacher, and then the deeper questions and commentary if you are seriously considering a commitment to the group.

1) A simple list of basic questions:
This page has a list of general questions. Easy, simple, a good place to start and review.

2) Deeper questions:
Specific focused questions on a number of topics – everything from “How does this person treat others” to ritual practices. It also includes links to even deeper information in the commentary.

3) Commentary: (in progress)
For those who learn best by story and example, I’m working on a commentary on each set of specific questions. Each commentary page will repeat the topic information and red flags from the deeper questions page, but then add commentary and example situations. In some cases, there are links to specific resources and other tools. You can navigate from page to page within the commentary, or you can use the index below to read a topic of particular interest.

[last edited January 14, 2011]